I never knew that something as simple as feeding your own child could draw so much attention and unnecessary comments. It’s so annoying really. Everyone has something to say or something to ask. Many of them are plain insensitive.
I’ve had my fair share of comments, questions and prying eyes who I could tell where just anxious to say something but my expression probably threw them off.
I try my best to take it with a pinch of salt because it’s probably not coming from a bad place. But after hearing the same things over and over again, a girl is bound to snap! A person can only take so much.
So, if you’re a breastfeeder, you can be sure you’ll get at least one of these comments or questions. If you’re not, take notes because I’m about to school you about things NOT to say to a breastfeeding mom. After all, we’re already trying to figure it all out. No pressure.
Are You Sure She’s Getting Enough?
I swear if I had $1 for every time I was asked this, I’d be able to travel to Dubai or something and sit poolside sipping on virgin coladas. This is SOOOO annoying. No, mam. I’m actually not sure. She can’t speak and tell me. You know that right? And my breasts don’t come with markings.
What I do know is that she leads the way. If she’s had enough, she stops. So yea, I’ll follow her cues and check her diapers. Thanks for the concern, though.
You’re Starving Her… You Need To Give Her Formula
Wait, what? I’m starving her? How? I’m not refusing to feed her. She drinks what she wants. She’s not crying because she’s hungry. She’s gassy. Or maybe she’s bored. You didn’t consider that did you? Fun fact. Babies don’t cry ONLY because they are hungry. Secondly, I know my child well enough to know her hunger signs and I feed her BEFORE she gets to the extremely hungry point. So no. I don’t need to give her formula but you need to mind your business. Be blessed as you exit stage left 🙂
She Is Always Feeding
That’s what they do, Susan. Babies feed..a lot. They are growing. Their stomachs are tiny. What else do you want her to do at this stage? Backflips? Run a marathon?
How Often Do You Feed Her?
In my mind, my reply is “how is that beneficial to you?” but I simply reply, whenever she wants to be fed. She isn’t on a schedule. I’m not trying to get her on a schedule. It doesn’t matter if I feed her every 3 hours or every 40 minutes so why does it matter to you?
Your Milk Must Be Sour
This one hurt me. Like really bad. I was having a mini melt down because my daughter was so gassy (due to my oversupply) and she was screaming. Along comes this person and decides to say “maybe your milk is sour”.
I was like what!? Now this is sheer ignorance. How can milk coming straight from my breasts, not even getting exposed to air for argument’s sake, be sour!? TELL ME HOW! Did that realllllyyyy just come through your mouth!?
Shoot! I guess my amniotic fluid was beyond sour then. I mean she was marinating in that for 9 months, peeing and all.
Some people just shouldn’t speak.
Give Her Cereal And She Will Sleep Better
Ooohhhh the age-old “advice”. My stance is this. If I don’t call you complaining when my child is up at ungodly hours in the night, you can save this “advice”.
Yes, I may be tired. Yes, I may want a couple minutes more of sleep BUT my child did not ask to be here. I already knew things would’ve changed. Sleep included.
Everytime she wakes at night, it isn’t to feed. Sometimes, she just wants me to hold her and I’m fine getting up a million times if it means I’m meeting my daughter’s needs.
Furthermore, why should I give her something that’s harder to digest? Some children just don’t sleep through the night and mine is one.
You Will Spoil Her
Oh. OK. Making sure she’s fed is spoiling. I’ll write that on a sticky note and trash it as I go.
New mamas, this is utter garbage ya hear me!? Don’t ignore your baby’s cues even if it felt like you just fed her 15 minutes ago, You CANNOT spoil your baby by attending to her needs. If anything, it builds trust.
You Need To Give Someone Else A Chance
I didn’t know feeding my baby was a competition. I’m not competitive at all, Susan. I’ll sit this one out.
How bout a chance at changing her dirty diapers? Or a chance at washing the dishes and some clothes? Nice opportunity there don’t ya think?
You Can Pump And Get Her Used To The Bottle
I’m fully aware of this. Why does she need a bottle if I’m always there? What sense does that make? Are you gonna come and wash bottles and pump parts? I didn’t think so.
As a matter of fact, I’m always accessible to her. If I’m not, of course I’ll pump. But why decrease my milk supply when I’m home and she can feed as she likes?
It’s Time For Real Food… She Doesn’t Want Milk
CLASSIC! When did she have this convo with you? Why was I left out?
I didn’t know my milk which is tailor made JUST for her isn’t real food. You’re the one taking all these supplements while my milk is full of EVERYTHING my child needs to grow. I’m jealous of her! Maybe I should drink my own milk!
Hear ye, hear ye. A baby’s brain doesn’t say “PING! It’s time for solids” as soon as she reaches the 6-month mark. My daughter wasn’t interested in solids till closer to 7 months. Even now at 9 months, some days she just prefers breastmilk.
Just Wait Till She Bites… You’ll See
What will I see? There are ways around that you know.
You’re Still Breastfeeding?
Yes I am. And you’re still sticking your nose where it shouldn’t be huh?
When Are You Stopping?
Why are you so concerned? I’ll stop when she wants to stop.
Give Her Some Water… You’re Making Her Thirsty
Oh man! She should be dehydrated by now then! Breastmilk is 90% water. Anything else you care to add that I’m depriving her of?
The long and short of the matter is this, if you have no support to offer, just keep your thoughts to yourself. I get that you have had kids before and you did whatever you did with them. That’s great for you! No seriously, that’s great but don’t question someone else’s choices just because you don’t agree.
And for goodness sake, understand that breastfeeding is HARD work and some moms actually are committed to doing it. They don’t need your judgment or your nosey questions.